Tainted Love
by Asphyxiated Angst
Summary: its the fic to fluer21's poem


~~ As I sit on the floor in the dark, the only sound I hear is chop choppy chop. ~~  
  
Sakura was propped onto the counter only one sound kept running through her mind. The sound of knives slashing at what could only be the skin of a person.  
  
A light bulb lit up in Sakura's brain.  
  
~~ In this world darkness consumes me, I think of all my friends who knew me. ~~  
  
These days the darkness had been starting to consume Sakura.  
  
Sakura's thoughts drifted to Tomoyo.  
  
Her best friend. Tomoyo. Amazing, gracious, pure Tomoyo.  
  
Tomoyo was beautiful inside and out, her personality was astonishing, she was polite to any and –every- body she met and knew.  
  
She sorta stood out in a crowd but not in a bad way.  
  
She had the prettiest hair that fell to her waist in raven tendrils. Her eyes were her most admirable feature. They were the color of raw amethysts and seemed to sparkle and shine all the time.  
  
Her thoughts seemed to drift again.  
  
~~ No one knows my fear and sorrow, that's why I feel so damn hollow. ~~  
  
No one knew of her –secret- fears and sorrows that haunted her in the midst of each dark night as she walked down the spiralling staircase to –their- room.  
  
~~ In this dark world no one gives a fuck, but me I blame it on my rotten luck. ~~  
  
The world was such a dark place to be now a days.  
  
No one cared about each other. What had happened? Sakura thought and had no answer maybe it was just her luck it was astounding for a while then it went stinky and rotten like a year-old boiled egg.  
  
~~ The sound still continues, and I blame you. ~~  
  
The sound of the knives still went on inside her head.  
  
He knives were nipping at an unsuspecting victims wrist, tearing away at the flesh, clawing at each last piece of skin left, harder then each time preceding slashing at the bone that just stuck out underneath the torn skin.  
  
~~ You're the reason I'm going mad, you're the one who always makes me sad. ~~  
  
Syaoran was getting weird now. He was no longer the sweet and caring teen husband Sakura had once thought him to be. No not that. He was a monster. An evil life-ruining monster that seemed to have taken off with Sakura's freedom.  
  
He was always saddening her to the point where she didn't know how much longer she could take of his abuse anymore.  
  
~~ You say, "Fuck you you little bitch!" out of the Blue, and I reply "Hey you know what? Fuck you too!" ~~  
  
"Fuck you you little bitch!" he yelled quieter than usual as if afraid of the neighbours hearing or such but they wouldn't care and even if they did what would they have done anyway?  
  
Syaoran's amber eyes glared at Sakura ferociously as if awaiting her to bring him something.  
  
"Hey you know what? Fuck you too!" She stated bluntly.  
  
She refused to take anymore of his shit.  
  
~~ Everyday I wish the same wish, which is that I didn't exist. ~~  
  
Every day and night she wished upon stars that she wouldn't exist the next morning, that instead of waking up maybe she would be up in Heaven with her mother and grandfather.  
  
~~ Because whats the point of my existence, Even if i can't put up no resistance. ~~  
  
She didn't know why she was alive anymore.  
  
She couldn't resist Syaoran's abuse and constant yelling. She wasn't good for anything. She was probably the worst wife in the whole entire universe  
  
~~ You've hurt me so much throughout my life; I wish I had a Fucking knife. ~~  
  
He hurt sakura throughout her entire life; he caused her pain and even grief and strife that Sakura wished that she had a knife so badly at times.  
  
~~ All I here you say is that I'm a Stupid wife, Thats why I lay here and end my life. ~~  
  
"Stupid wife" he'd yell at her harshly night after night. That's why she stood on the cold tiles ending her life.  
  
~~ As I feel the blade Glide across my wrist, all i think is that you won't give a shit. ~~  
  
Sakura took a slash at her right wrist; she felt the blade smoothly glide across the taut skin there.  
  
Her mind wandered; the only thought that crossed her mind was that her husband wouldn't give a shit. He probably wouldn't care in the least.  
  
Maybe she was giving him some freedom this way.  
  
~~ As I fall to the floor surrounded by my blood, you walk through the door and your eyes begin to flood. ~~  
  
She fell to the ground and her own blood pooled around her collapsed body.  
  
At that moment Syaoran managed to walk through the French doors.  
  
~~ You look at the blood and then back to me, you ask, " How could you? We were meant to be!" ~~  
  
He looked from the blood and then to his fallen wife rage evident in his glassy eyes.  
  
"How could you? We were meant to be," he shouted shrilly at her immobile chopped-up body.  
  
~~ I look at him and weakly laugh, He stares at me and I stare back. ~~  
  
She looked at him through her half-closed pale eyelids and laughed weakly and bitterly as he stared at her and she looked back in the same sorrowful way.  
  
~~ As the Darkness slowly consumes me, I think of all the Friends who knew me. ~~  
  
The darkness was beginning to consume her all over again.  
  
It was really happening this time.  
  
She was going out with a bang.  
  
She thought of all the other people she had managed to befriend with her seventeen years on this earth.  
  
There were so many, Eriol, Takashi, Chiharu, Naoko, Rika, Yukito, Mei Lin, Christine, Darren. Only naming a few.  
  
~~ As I slip deeper and deeper into the black, All I think is I can't go back. ~~  
  
The black was deepening, darkening; it was all a downward spiral from here. The dark was eating her alive.  
  
The last thought that ran through her was that she couldn't go back.  
  
This was it.  
  
~~ As I hear the beep beep of some annoying thing, Fear strikes me for that can only Mean one thing. ~~  
  
A sharp *beep, beep* was heard as Sakura's head was starting to sound like pounding jackhammers.  
  
Oh no. Fear struck. This sound could only mean one thing. Lord no.  
  
~~ I slowly open my eyes, to find myself in a room full of white. ~~  
  
Her eyelids fluttered opened and emerald green pools shone with all their might.  
  
The room was bright, white.  
  
Everything was beginning to come into clear focus again.  
  
A white room.  
  
Where could she be?  
  
~~ I look next to me at the chair, to see him sitting there. ~~  
  
She looked to a side, next to her in a white hospital chair Li Syaoran sat.  
  
~~ I see him Sleeping peacefully, with my hand upon his knee. ~~  
  
He seemed to be sleeping peacefully with Sakura's hand on his knee gingerly as if not to disturb his newfound peace.  
  
~~ I thought he said he didn't love me, if he didn't, then why did he save me? ~~  
  
If he really didn't love her then why on earth did he even bother with trying to save her?  
  
~~ He opens his eyes to meet mine; all I ask him is why? ~~  
  
His eyes opened and only one word was heard. "Why?" That word could mean so many things but he knew what it –really- meant.  
  
~~ He said he was sorry for all he did, and thats why he wanted me to live. ~~  
  
"Because I'm sorry, for all I did. For everything. I guess that's why I wanted you to live. For me."  
  
~~ He said we would start our lives anew, that's when he said I love you. ~~  
  
"We'll start our lives anew. Somewhere far away. Hawaii. Maybe somewhere in Europe. Paris. I'll go anywhere." That's when he said it. "I love you" he stated, voice dripping with emotion.  
  
~~ As I lay in my bed, and ponder those words you said. ~~  
  
She lay in bed pondering the real meaning of those words that he had uttered.  
  
Who knew what they –really- meant?  
  
~~ I think they can't be true, because I don't love you. ~~  
  
They couldn't be true she thought bitterly.  
  
She didn't love him any more.  
  
It was true love and they were meant to be.  
  
But not now.  
  
In a time before married life and maybe in a time after but for now they were just too different.  
  
They were two individual beings now.  
  
No longer linked by bonds of love and care.  
  
~~ As I walk out of you life like the rain, I hope my decision wasn't made in vain. ~~  
  
As Sakura walked out of Syaoran's life like the night rain that would be washed away by the time the morning light shone through she just –hoped- her decision wasn't made in vain.  
  
~~ You say to my retreating form I love you again, All I have to say to you is farewell my friend. ~~  
  
"I love you," he said to her retreating form. The only thing that she could reply with was ""All I have to say to you is farewell my friend."  
  
And that was it. She was gone.  
  
Gone with the gentle breeze as it blew gently in the dark sky as the rain had begun to fall. 


End file.
